Current:Home > ContactTikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree. -GlobalInvest
TikTokers swear the bird test can reveal if a relationship will last. Psychologists agree.
View
Date:2025-04-15 20:40:14
TikTokers say they've discovered the secret to predicting whether a couple will last or eventually breakup − and psychologists say they're actually onto something.
It's called the bird test, and it's the subject of research conducted by psychologist John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, an organization dedicated to investigating the psychology of relationships. Videos tagged #birdtest have accumulated more than 16 million views with users testing the theory on their significant others.
The test involves getting excited about something insignificant and seeing how your partner reacts. For instance, if you look out the window and exclaim, "Wow, that's a beautiful bird," does your partner look to see what you're interested in or do they ignore it and go about their business? Or worse: Do they lash out and dismiss your enthusiasm entirely?
Repeated reactions that involve ignoring or flat-out rejecting your attempts to connect, even over something small like a bird, doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship, the bird test posits.
Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says there's a lot of truth to it.
"The beauty of the bird test is, basically ... it's a bid to ask whoever you're with to turn towards you and engage with you and show interest in something that you're interested in, versus what (Gottman) calls turning away," he says.
Is the bird test reliable?
The purpose of the bird test is to see how often your partner picks up on bids you offer them in your relationship. Brown describes a bid as "a request to engage and to connect with the other, no matter what the topic is," such as an invitation to look at a bird.
In his research, Gottman found couples who stayed together and reported feeling happy in their relationships turned toward each other about 86% of the time when presented a bid from their partner. Couples who broke up or felt unhappy in their relationships turned toward each other only about 33% of the time, according to The Gottman Institute's website.
David and Victoria Beckhamand how to (maybe) tell if your partner is in love with you
Bids may seem small, but they happen frequently, so it's important not to ignore them.
"Throughout the day, we're often making these bids right?" licensed psychotherapist Marni Feuerman says. "It's not unusual to say, 'Hey, do you want to have dinner now? Do you want to go on a walk? Oh, look at this cool Netflix show.' How is your partner responding and reacting?"
Several TikTokers have put their partners to the bird test, including former "Bachelorette" star Michelle Young, who practically jumped for joy when her significant other stopped to look out the window when she said she saw a cardinal. Gottman himself has endorsed the trend on TikTok as well.
What if the bird test goes wrong?
Don't panic if your partner fails a bird test.
Brown says that, if you're going to employ the bird test, make sure it's not during a time when your partner is occupied.
"If you're in a relationship and you are wanting to look at a bird, but it's the seventh game of the World Series for your partner, and your partner may say, 'I can't turn towards you now,' ... that doesn't mean that the relationship is doomed," Brown says.
Also, it's more important to see how your partner responds to you over time, so don't write them off if they fail a single bird test.
"Make those bids a few times over the course of a couple days," Feuerman says. "Look for the pattern. So, if consistently the partner ignores, doesn't respond, the bid isn't tuned into, then yes, I would say someone could reasonably discern 'I might have an issue here' or there might be a problem."
And if there is an issue, talk it out − and keep in mind no one is going to pass the bird test every time.
"People are going to miss bids on occasion, and so it's not about people getting worried or panicked that they're missing some, because you will. We all will," Feuerman says. "We're human."
veryGood! (11735)
Related
- Krispy Kreme offers a free dozen Grinch green doughnuts: When to get the deal
- The One Where Jennifer Aniston Owns the 2024 Sag Awards Red Carpet
- Climate change may cause crisis amid important insect populations, researchers say
- Star Trek Actor Kenneth Mitchell Dead at 49
- New data highlights 'achievement gap' for students in the US
- See which stars went barefoot, Ayo Edebiri's Beyoncé moment and more SAG fashion wows
- Stock market today: Asian shares mostly decline, while Tokyo again touches a record high
- AP VoteCast: Takeaways from the early Republican primary elections
- Skins Game to make return to Thanksgiving week with a modern look
- Florida mom describes rescue after being held captive by estranged husband: I'd been pulled from hell
Ranking
- Working Well: When holidays present rude customers, taking breaks and the high road preserve peace
- South Carolina primary exit polls for the 2024 GOP election: What voters said as they cast their ballots
- You Won't Believe What Bridgit Mendler, Erik von Detten and More Disney Channel Alums Are Up To Now
- Jodie Turner-Smith Breaks Silence on Joshua Jackson Divorce
- See you latte: Starbucks plans to cut 30% of its menu
- Stock market today: Asian shares mostly decline, while Tokyo again touches a record high
- ‘Past Lives,’ ‘American Fiction’ and ‘The Holdovers’ are big winners at Independent Spirit Awards
- Powerball winning numbers for Feb. 24 drawing: Jackpot rises to over $370 million
Recommendation
Justice Department, Louisville reach deal after probe prompted by Breonna Taylor killing
The next sports power couple? Livvy Dunne's boyfriend Paul Skenes is top MLB prospect
Sports figures and celebrities watch Lionel Messi, Inter Miami play Los Angeles Galaxy
What are sound baths and why do some people swear by them?
Retirement planning: 3 crucial moves everyone should make before 2025
Wildfires are killing California's ancient giants. Can seedlings save the species?
2024 SAG Awards: Josh Hartnett Turns Attention to Oppenheimer Costars During Rare Interview
Arizona sector becomes No. 1 hotspot for migrant crossings, despite border walls and treacherous terrain